How to Save Money for a Cruise… if you’re an idiot
Last week we posted the #1 Secret to Saving Money when Booking a Cruise. We asked 18 Cruise Industry Leaders for their best kept secret to getting a cheap cruise, and they had some phenomenal tips. A few pieces of advice we’d never even considered. The post was a huge success with thousands of views and hundreds of shares.
This week, we want to post something way less helpful, but even more fun.
We’ve heard of some very clever and effective ways of saving money for a cruise. Some of our users give up Starbucks and put that $3 aside every day. Others build up their cruise savings by doing odd jobs in their free time. And some will sell their personal items in order to afford their cruise vacations. All of these ideas are great and we fully support them!
However, some people aren’t as smart as our users. They’ve chosen to save money in… well… “original” ways. These we do NOT recommend.
Please, do NOT save money for a cruise by doing anything like the following!
Dumbest ways to save money for a Cruise
According to Amazon, a Tree Swing can cost roughly $130. That’s about 1/10 of an average cruise fare. Instead, hose off the plastic chair that’s been in the woods behind your house and string it up with that waterskiing rope you haven’t used in ever. Tell your child you paid extra for the arm-rests.
To save up for your Caribbean Cruise, you may have to skimp on your dinghy. An actual boat engine may get you around the lake quicker, but it’ll also cost a pretty penny. Instead, try using your weed-whacker, personal fan, or just maybe just bring a paddle. According to Amazon, you just saved $99 on that boat motor.
We may be nickel and diming here, but every lit bit counts, right? What would you rather have, an expensive spatula and no melted plastic on your pancakes? Or, a makeshift flipping thing and be $7 closer to your dream vacation cruising the Mediterranean?
A basketball hoop goes for $100 on Amazon. Why not take that $100, stick it in your “Oasis of the Seas Fund” and get creative. It’s 2016 – nobody does laundry anymore anyway. So take that basket, chop off the bottom of it, and tie it to a tree using some of the leftover waterskiing rope. And, for a ball… maybe you find some big pine cones.
This one might be a little tougher to get by the family. But, if you’re able to swing it, this $0.49 replacement will get you that much closer to the Lido Bar. PRO TIP: stick some thumbtacks in it to look like ornaments.
Here we have a bit of an issue… You can’t cruise if you don’t have any money. You can’t have money if you’re wasting it all on safety items. You also can’t cruise if you’re dead. P.S. what good is the guy at the bottom of the ladder doing in this picture?
Remember the last time you bought a refrigerator and that con artist at Sears try to charge you a $10 delivery and installation fee? Clearly that guy is after your hard-earned cruise money and you should have none of that.
Tires ain’t cheap. Cruises ain’t cheap. What’s it gonna be? One word for you… priorities. This guy knows what’s up. Remember that face, because you’ll see it next to you at Carlos n’ Charlies in Cozumel.
A quality rifle cabinet will cost you around $165 on Amazon. Instead, go down to your basement, chisel through the 3 years of built up freezer burn, and empty the 1980’s stockpile of hotpockets from the extra fridge down there. Then fill it with your guns and laugh all the way to the bank. ADDED BONUS: you can tell people that your guns are “so cool.”
There are numerous opportunities for cost-savings in the area of “Car Repairs.” We view windshield wipers as a “luxury item,” like spoilers or hanging fuzzy dice. From the image above, it’s obvious that you don’t “need” them. Transfer that $14 wiper cost from your “rainy day fund” to your “Caribbean cocktail account.”
This is resourcefulness at its finest. Car parts dealers think that they can “hose us” because we don’t know the first thing about what’s going on in there. That may be true. Actually, there’s not doubt that’s true. But, we’ll win this round. They can keep their overpriced engine parts – we’ll use potato chip containers and put those savings towards our Alaskan cruise. NOTE: we don’t advise the reverse scenario (using your engine tubes to store your Pringles).
While we’re at it, we don’t need your fancy headlights either. If Einstein were still around, he’d spat at the cost of replacement bulbs for my Ford Taurus. The flashlights from my earthquake kit will work just fine, thank you very much. And now I’m one step closer to cruising.
Car accessories are no exception to the rule. If you think we’re going to buy an $800 motorcycle trailer just to take her down to Daytona for the weekend, your crazy. After a quick realization that it doesn’t fit in the trunk, that problem was easily fixed by a ladder, some duck tape, and some caution tape. Boom… I can almost taste the Flowrider.
A good oven will cost you as much as a cruise. How bad to you want that cruise? Man learned to make fire hundreds of thousands of years ago. And man has been making other things that will heat your tea.
Once you’ve discovered the possibility of this alternative stovetop, don’t be shy about expanding your menu. Teapots are only the first step. You can dice up some sausage and slap it right on there. If you’re feeling really adventurous, try an omelette.
According to Amazon, a pretty sweet doorbell will set you back $12. While that will only afford you one drink on a cruise, those drinks aren’t buying themselves. Additionally, you can save money by not purchasing post-it notes. Simply tear up the closest document and use a scrap of that.
We would never advise for you to go without a ceiling fan during those hot, summer months. But, a legitimate ceiling fan costs roughly $100. Put this hundo into your cruise fund. Next, dust off that old box fan next to the treadmill in your garage. Hopefully you have some of that leftover ski-rope to string it up.
If the ceiling / box fan isn’t cutting it, don’t you even think about dropping $150 for an air conditioning unit. Put $147.50 of that into your cruise fund, and go down the street to the PickyMart for a bag of ice. Now chop down that ceiling / box fan (save that rope) and make your own home cooling unit.
Working blenders are for rich people with money to burn. If your KitchenAid craps out, you could drop $100 on another… or, you could take a second to think about your dream cruise. Then, break open the toolbox and find a way to make that kale smoothie without setting back that vacation date.
A good barbecue will cost you $100. Do you want those perfect grill lines, or do you want to feel that salty air blowing through your hair? We thought so. Now head down to the canal and pull out that shopping cart that’s half-submerged. Start marinating that meat while you scrape off the barnacles.
If your local can doesn’t have as many shopping carts as does ours, here’s an alternative. Your local park likely has a few of these. Just make sure to thoroughly clean once done.
This is likely the absolute dumbest idea to save money for a cruise. We don’t advise that you do any of these, but beg you not to do this one. While an actual fire extinguisher will cost you $20, we think this investment is well worth it. Particularly if you’re barbecuing with shopping carts and park chairs.
You know what’s really trendy right now? Recycling. You know what’s not that trendy? Phones with cords. In this chapter of our “saving money for a cruise” guide, we recommend recycling old worthless stuff to fix other stuff. Sitting will never go out of style. Use your old, lame stuff to fix items in your house that you still use.
Rather than spending $20 on a life preserver, consider recycling your empty 2 liter bottles of Coke and Grape Fanta. It may not be safe, but at least you saved another Andrew Jackson for your cruise fund.
Please note that we don’t actually advise any of the above. They are called the “Dumbest Ways to Save Money for a Cruise” because they truly are idiotic.
Rather than skimping on life preservers and fire extinguishers, let’s focus on getting a cheap cruise!
Cruise Lines often drop prices (dramatically) when they have too many unsold cabins. We’ve built Cruise Deals App to immediately recognize when this happens.
Next, you can set your cruise price alert. Feel free to set it based on percentage drop (example – alert for any cruise dropping by more than 50%). Or, you can set it by price per day (example – alert me if a cruise drops below $50 per day).
We frequently see price drops as high as 80% off and cruises as cheap as $50 per day!
These cheap cruises typically don’t last long. Once we start pointing users to these deals, and those users start booking the cruise lines will hike the prices back up. So, make sure to act fast!
Please share below to give your friends a good laugh and get them on the financial track to their dream cruise!